Alien Abduction!

Oh, thank goodness. I'm back, I'm really back! I've just lived through the most traumatic experience of my entire life, and I'm back on my blog to tell you all about it. And my vagina will never be the same. I better start from the beginning.

I was driving home early one morning several weeks ago on my way home from Drag Idol when the most amazing thing happened. There I was in my Buick, munching on a dozen pack of doughnuts freshly purchased from the corner Krispy Kreme, when suddenly a bright light descended upon me from above.

Before I could even wipe the chocolate from my perfectly lined and glossed lips...

the car lifted off the ground and was enveloped by some mysterious hovering vehicle.

I have only faint memories from the following hours, days, and weeks, so please forgive Miss Pinkie if she's sketchy with the details. My next memory is of waking up in a long cylindrical tube filled with a thick gelatinous liquid. Somehow I could still breath, or maybe I just thought I was breathing. The moment didn't last long.

Pinkie was unceremoniously flushed from the tube!

I found myself naked and coughing on a steel floor. Surrounding me were several gigantic naked muscle gods. Clearly sex-starved aliens had abducted me, and were about to have their way with yours truly. At that point I blacked out again.

The next thing I recall is waking in an all white room. I was wearing a beautiful white gown and was reclining on a white plush fainting couch. A nearly ear-splitting voice boomed from somewhere overhead. The voice simply said "REJECTED!" The room and the voice immediately faded, and I awoke at home in my own bed.

Slipping from my silk sheets, I fell to the floor. Stumbling out of bed is a process I'm normally quite accustomed to. However this morning I was barely able to stand. I crawled to the vanity and hoisted myself to the chair. Luckily I keep my power on the vanity, and so I grabbed the straw, stuck it into the power and dipped my nose down. In moments I was able to stand again.

When I looked in the mirror, I was horrified at what I saw. Pinkie's stretch marks had grown to enormous proportions!

I'm just not sure what to make of my ordeal, but it appears to be over. I can only surmise that some band of alien men had selected me to act as their new Eve.

Looking at my calendar, I could see that several weeks had passed. I'm so sorry to have left my faithful readers for so long, but as you can see, I've apparently been busing seeding the universe. I'm terribly hungry now, so I must go. Creating a hybrid Pinkie-alien race has worn this girl out!

Kisses.